Wednesday, April 22, 2009
If, i told you that I am not who I am will you believe me?
If, i told you that I had been lying to you all along would you believe me?
If, i said it was all
ok would you believe me?
If...
I finally understood what it meant by not understanding.
It is something I have never been able to do. Some thing that I am very bad at.
I guess it is a feeling that is so painful, that after a while, you cant feel it anymore.
It is something that cannot be expressed.
I still cant figure out the difference between determinism and pure randomness.
For it seems like it can be random determinism or a determined random.
Especially
that. Cause, i can no longer find a way to explain it.
Well, i figured out to that as you learn more about something, you learn that there's nothing you can do about it. As you go through this time frame known to all of us as 'life', you find that you become more and more useless.
On a separate note, I was hoping that science will fail us. To tell us that what is undiscovered should remain undiscovered. And that ignorance is bliss. And that what ever that's about to happen will not due to miscalculations. In a way or another, it fails - If science doesn't fail, it fails me.
Now that you cannot do anything to the future, you can only convince yourself that everything is predestined. Not that we should not decide that fate now do not lie in our hands, but everything that you do, has already been factored in, and that it will contribute to the final result. All the 'no matter how hard you try' thing has already been predicted; so has the 'let's give up' mentality of some.
If you have managed to follow the logic sequence, you would have found out that there's no logic. It brings us back to the same question: has it been randomly determined or determined to be random?
How about...? Yeah, how about what? You now again, realise that nothing you do can change anything. But you cannot do nothing since your 'doing-something' has been decided by fate. But what are you doing?
You are now probably feeling lost. Its
ok. But it is comforting to know that there's another guy who is as confused and lost as you are.
In my own world,
9:12 PM
